Last year I threw up a list of 10 alternative or non-traditional Christmas movies. I get gloomy around the holidays, and have for most of my life (this has recently begun changing due to a lot of lovely Christmasey people in my life). The discourse, the commercialism, the Tim Allen of it all, it just gets to me and bums me out. I’ve always turned to movies when I’m down. Heck, I binged about a dozen cheesy 60s and 70s sci-fi films after a breakup in 2012. It’s what comforts me and in recent years I’ve begun to utilize movies as a way to get through Christmas. I’m not that guy who makes his family watch Brazil on Christmas Eve but I am the kind of guy who might suggest something out of left field simply because it has something Christmasey about it. This year I’ve compiled yet another list of films that for some reason strike me as reasons for the season. There will yet again be no Die Hard on this list. Stop asking. Make up your own mind on that one. Seriously.
I will accept no judgment for how hard I tried and failed to work a film from the Saw franchise into this list. Maybe next year.
The Green Knight
Maybe my favorite film of the last five years? David Lowery’s instant classic is a beautiful, high-as-hell concept that takes an ancient story and breathes fresh life into it. Gawain’s tale is one questioning a lot of things, from chivalry to a medieval view of women to nature vs encroaching Christian ideals. Lowery said…yes, but it’s also about a dude that doesn’t want to get his head cut off. The story begins and ends on Christmas Day, a wonderful moment where everything about each piece of this story’s hoary themes clash together and a game is played at the center of them. Dev Patel stars as our hot-headed (and, well, very freaking hot) protagonist. A fascinating film that will stand as the moment I truly felt there might be an end to the hellish world I lived in at the time.
Crimson Peak
There was a time when Christmas was meant for ghost stories. This was a time-honored tradition, with the darkest time of year being one for spooks and terrors by firelight instead of bright colors and mangers. Puritans ruin most things and they killed this one as well, but it was semi-revived by Charles Dickens with the publication of A Christmas Carol. We never fully returned to the old ways, the better ways, but that story has clung to the public conscience for dear life. Guillermo Del Toro’s Crimson Peak, one of my favorites from the Mexican filmmaker, is a gothic romance set in a bleak European home. It feels of Poe and his house of Usher, a crumbling story whose centerpiece home is literally bleeding. I think Del Toro delivered a classic piece of ghostly storytelling that would measure up to any old story, told around the fire while figgy pudding was consumed.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
It was released Christmas weekend, I’m counting it. Philip Kaufman’s pod-person sci-fi flick is a classic, one of the best ever released. It doesn’t sit right on the first watch, mostly because I’d guess the audience is pretty busy being freaked out at its premise and rather aggressive body horror. Still, the relationship between Matthew Bennell (Donald Sutherland) and Elizabeth Driscoll (Brooke Adams) keeps things on-target as they struggle through a world full of imposters they no longer know. They’re joined by Leonard Nimoy, Veronica Cartwright, and Jeff Goldblum to round out this incredible cast. It’s a masterpiece and I think it deserves a spot in your Christmas rotation.
…When Harry Met Sally
There are a few memorable Christmases in Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron’s incredible portrait of love and longing. It’s helped along by the absolutely magnetic Meg Ryan and an absolutely relatable Billy Crystal (who is lookin’ like a snack in those sweaters, my god). Each moment feels like somewhere we’ve been before, whether you’re a successful yuppie New Yorker or not. The possibilities, alternate paths never taken, and the climactic monologue are all part of the cultural consciousness but what really hits me are the little moments. Small glances, little forgotten quips, Carrie Fischer, all parts of a larger puzzle that help to make this feel like Christmas. This one isn’t about family, it’s about all the other feelings the holiday season can inspire. Revelations, loneliness, romance, and friendship are all tangled up in this perfect movie.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Look, Craig is wearing glasses like no human being has ever worn them and it’s breathtaking. This second stab at Steig Larsson’s very okay book does something visually delightful with every frame, no matter how hard a lot of it is to watch. This is Rooney Mara’s greatest performance and Craig steps up as her silly, smart, himbo sidekick/romantic interest in this story of murder, revenge, a the evils of men who hate women. David Fincher was the perfect match of story and director for this one. It’s a snowed-in film, sure, but the audacity to release it at Christmas with this trailer is just bonkers. A huge swing and one that didn’t connect as well as I hoped it would, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo remains an amazing thriller that would serve as an excellent Christmas film for those looking away from traditional fare.
Spencer
This one is relatively new and set at Christmas so it might count as cheating. I don’t really care as it’s an incredible film that manages to make Diana’s last holiday with the royal family feel like The Shining. There’s an inherent savagery in the treatment of the people’s princess and the aggressive comparisons to Anne Boleyn are unsettling. Stewart steps forward and gives an incredible performance, one that may more perfectly capture the persona of Diana than many others due to the nature of its inner turmoil. Spencer is shot more like a horror movie than a biopic, and this non-traditional structure adds more weight to the proceedings. It’s a tale of escape, one about a woman who never really would.
Sleepy Hollow
Tim Burton loves Christmas. The director tries to feature it in most of his films, particularly that miracle run from 1988-2007. One of my favorites is Sleepy Hollow, a slasher take on the Washington Irving story that gets campy quickly and ends on a romantic Christmas in New York City. Burton’s film feels chilly right from the start, with almost no warmth in the color palette save the blood that spills as his headless horseman (an incredibly unhinged Christopher Walken) takes victim after victim. I find this one something of a comfort food, a soothing balm when I’m feeling low, and between the jolts of fright and the hilarity of some situations (Depp faints a LOT) I just feel happier. Christmas is all about feeling that joy, peace, and comfort of home. Sleepy Hollow feels like home to me and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to explain why.
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Shoutout to a woman I dated over a decade ago for this one. A tradition in her household was to watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers every Christmas and they had not done so the last couple of years. I found a Japanese DVD copy online and luckily it worked on my parents’ player. I grew fond of it quickly, right from the ridiculous opening number “Bless Her Beautiful Hide.” The barn-raising sequence might be the best dance number I’ve ever seen in a film, the performances are all over the top, and the way choreographer Michael Kidd utilized the backwoods setting to create his dances drives me nuts. It’s so good, so charming, and is very much about large adult sons learning to be men when faced with strong women that are sick of their bullshit. I love it.
That’s what I’ve got for this year! Have a lovely holiday, however you celebrate, and remember that keeping good people in your life is a gift no one can take away.
WRITE DRUNK; EDIT DRUNK 